Thoughts on Happiness

Happiness is more than what one does or how much money or even popularity a person has...if happiness were tied to personal achievement, than no one would ever be happy except the super-stars. And, if the number of rock star suicides is any indication, even they aren't happy. When I went on mission trip to the Yucatan, I was struck by how happy the people were. They lived in a one room hut, there were maggots in the food, and the floors were dirt with no running water, and...they were happy. In essence the story of the Buddha is a story of seeking happiness. It is not tied to our physical state, or even our emotional state, but rather how we choose to perceive the world around us.

If I achieve all I set out to achieve, will that make me happy. The answer is no. If I make tons of money will that make me happy? No, although it will ease some of the worry about caring for family, etc. In meditation there are two main sutras practiced at the Tibetan Center regularly. One is the heart sutra and the other is one on compassion. While I enjoy the compassion mediation, I do not enjoy it nearly as much as the heart sutra. I think that is because I feel that the heart sutra is about compassion and happiness as much as the compassion one.

While I've gone to meditation for several weeks, I have not asked any questions yet. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I "know it all" or "understand it"...that would be beyond arrogant and approaching delusional. I just don't think my questions can be answered with words. If they could, everyone would know the answer.

Meditation - Compassion

I went to meditation today. The practice on Sundays centers on visualizing negative energy being drawn into the person meditating and radiating out love and compassion. Tonglen - giving and receiving. As I meditated, the negative and the positive seemed almost the same to me. It's hard to phrase how I felt during the practice. I felt the euphoria and the goodness that lightheaded feeling that comes as everything goes calm. Yet, I know that there is more to meditation than feeling good. Emotion is subjective. I can feel bad, good, pain, joy, but in the end it is not the goal. The goal is to get closer to the stillness beyond those things. Because both the positive and the negative are both maras in themselves, it seems to me that giving and receiving itself is a mara. It is all one and the same. In the quiet, their are different expressions or forms that the maras take...from there they anchor a person in place. According to the meditation, maras are illusions.

I want to get closer to the stillness. I've prayed in charismatic Catholic youth groups and felt the emotional build up that comes with it. In adoration, there is a stillness that mirrors the Buddhist meditation; however, there is also this idea of petitioning. From what I have seen so far, Buddhist meditation is about compassion and acceptance. To accept myself and the events around me in all their darkness and light and try be still within them.