Concerns...stress...and future goals...

I've been stressing out a lot lately. I have a lot I want to accomplish and very little time to do it in... my brother is autistic, and B & I might one day have to help support him. My parents had me later in life and I will probably have to support them sooner rather than later. I have personal goals and things I would like to be able to do with my life...and b/w putting family into perspective...feel a bit lost in the shuffle.

Our lil 2b/2b home works for now. Hopefully we can pay it down enough over the next 5-6years to be able to rent it out. I know we want to keep it so bro can have his own space if necessary. We also want to buy a bigger place for us after I get done with school. B also may go back for his Bachelor's degree, and I still haven't ruled out a psyd.

Physically, stress makes me gain weight even without eating. So wing chun once a week is essential to maintaining physical health. Meditation has become so important to me. Prayer is good. I enjoy prayer. But, sitting quietly with God and listening. It can be so hard to sit still and listen between emotions/stress/life/work/etc.

I'd like to write a book...but time and laziness combine to sabotage my efforts. Once I graduate, I want to take my parents and bro on a vacay to celebrate...just haven't figured out the logistics of it yet, & I won't mention it until it's practical. Bro still needs to learn to drive in order to help with his independence. Hopefully B can start taking him driving this summer. To top it all off, the autism and a lack of social interaction ability on Bro's part means he doesn't understand that ppl are trying to help him and he treats our parents resentfully.

I also miss B. when he's offshore. It seems we never stop working and actually enjoy a lazy day together anymore. We need a weekend get away pretty soon...I think in a few months I may see about getting away to some place in Louisiana...just not N.O. again...we need to get away the 2 of us & not worry about anything but just chilling. I know I'm ranting. But I definitely needed a cathartic rant. Right now, I feel like I'm trying to do everything with lil back up & no "bones" being thrown my way. Right now I'd take a give me...Hell I don't wanna win the whatever-million dollar powerball...just a lil somethin-somethin :D LOL!